'Allegedly Problematic' is a monthly column by Kuzhali Manickavel, which takes a cheeky look at literary/cultural offerings from the past that would now be considered, well, problematic — and asks, 'But are they really?'.
Read more from the series here.
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Hallo fam! Isn’t everything just the worst right now? Like, THE. WORST. I feel I have said this in previous columns, but honestly, this right now, is the worst the worst has ever been. Will that deter us from writing about things that hurt our feelings? Absolutely not! But first, I humbly request you to please help if you can, this excellent resource is very useful.
I wasn’t sure what to complain about in this column. For some reason, it is difficult to think about allegedly problematic things when people are dying and stuff. Like, dying more than usual, I mean. Fam, even on a relatively death-free day, this column seems a bit frivolous with its relentless attack on books from the 1800s, weird movies nobody watches, and easy targets that carry large, sparkly signs that say “HAI I AM A HIGHLY PROBLEMATIC THING PLEASE COMPLAIN ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET”. I am uncomfortably reminded of something people have said to me after reading my writing — what is the point? Obviously I am not the person to read if you are looking for a point, but I get what they are saying.
So in the absence of having a point, I thought I might do the next best thing and be honest in an awkward and uncomfortable way. Here fam is my honesty. I actually enjoy a good, problematic movie. It’s hypocritical and obviously I should know better, but there it is. There are certain kinds of problematic cinema which will make me cringe or say ‘tut-tut’ in a marked manner. But I definitely keep watching, fam. Rightly or wrongly, I would like to share with you some of my go-to favourites when it comes to problematic movie enjoyment. I am so sorry fam.
Immigrant Spelling Bee Movies
While I am personally fond of the spelling bee oeuvre, these movies can also be about football or playing the violin or running. Essentially, an immigrant child is brought into a “typical American family”, complete with head lice and no English-speaking abilities. And just when it looks like nothing can save this child, BAM! They spell a really long word and in sweet, slow motion, everyone starts to like them. Or they become American. Anyway the slow motion is very moving.
Problematic Rating: Pretty harmless I guess? Though it sometimes feels like immigrant kids have to be really amazing at something before they can be accepted or liked. And while they often focus on how hard things are for the American family, they breezily trip over that whole trauma thing the child is probs going through. Also, the mind boggles to think what happens to immigrant children who can’t spell, play the violin or run.
Hero with Heart of Milk/Gold Movies
If you have to say that your male lead has a heart of gold or milk, there is a good chance that everything else about the dude is decidedly not like gold or milk. These are the movies where we can say that the hero playfully pursues the woman of his dreams. Or we can be honest and say he is a sexual predator who finally beats a woman down through song, dance, and in some cases, actual beating and kidnapping. These movies are absolutely terrible fam. But sometimes, the songs that are used to sexually harass the woman are absolutely bop. When dude molests a girl in public, sometimes it’s funny you guys! Right? Sometimes? I would like to say that I don’t watch the REALLY bad ones, only the slightly bad ones. Which is like saying someone is slightly dead and not really dead so it’s fine.
Problematic Rating: Super super super problematic. Like really. And it behooves us to remember that sexual harassment is not something that is sometimes slightly bad. It is always bad. Even when the songs are catchy. Sexual. Harassment. Bad.
Join us for the next instalment of this awkward column where I will share more problematic movies
that I enjoy watching! Why am I doing this? Bai!
Kuzhali Manickavel is the author of the short story collections 'Insects Are Just like You and Me except Some of Them Have Wings' and 'Things We Found During the Autopsy', both available from Blaft Publications
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